Saturday, June 30, 2007

end of

it's the last day of june and i am blue. my sis moved to minnesota, thousands of miles away. because i do not like planes, i may not see her again. it is hard to think of this, because we used to be so close. things and people change. i do not like to think of living my life losing people each year to death, moving, and all around indifference. it is harder and harder to make good new friends now and so i envision my life circle getting smaller and smaller. i have made some new friends since going back to work, but they are so much younger, and well, just not seasoned. i don't want to be a mentor, i want an equal. my dh is so kind to me and keeps saying we are best friends, but i really need some girly time occasionally. he is trying to spend more time with me, but really, he needs his boy time too!

enough self-pity stuff. putting on a smile and changing my mood to happy now. july is here and we have a couple of great parties to attend. we will be cooking up a storm, i will get some great pics, we will get to see lots of friends we do not often see, and maybe i can work on one of these friendships to move it along to be a little closer!

ds19 is now living with his girl. she is very sweet. i wish they had considered marriage and staying with their parents until this move, but i can not stop love. it is funny that they are not very much alike, but they get along and she is very sweet to my ds19 who can be a bear and not much fun sometimes. i love them both.

ds13 is going to summer school. consequences of a bad math grade. he says that he feels it is too easy. of course, he is grouped with all of the kids who got bad grades, including those who still can not read. i told him to talk to his teachers about perhaps a harder assignment on the side to actually TEACH him something rather than all these baby steps that he really does not need to repeat. he just did not do his work and turn it in. he can do the work. he is making new friends and is opening up in his teen years. it is good to see him develop some social skills, he used to be so shy and unwilling to talk to anyone!

here is a recent lo i completed. my scrapping has been very limited since my dad's stroke, but i am trying to get back to it. it is my fun time, my release and i enjoy it so much. for awhile, i just did not feel like being creative as i was scared and wanting to be with my dad as much as possible. now he is stabilizing and it is allowing me to calm down a little.

hey, thanks all you who read for listening!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

life goes on

February 2007 changed our lives. My dad had a stroke and it was bad. He is debilitated to the point that we must do almost everything for him. Our family got together and decided that the best thing right now is for him to live in his own home and our youngest sibling will care for him. i go over twice a day when ever i can to check on him, visit, talk about old times and sometimes just to watch him sleep. Everyone is subject to this at some point in their life when an adult you look to for direction is not able to help you anymore and then you become the care giver. i just did not know it would happen so soon. it has been a very hard, emotional 4 months. Today my dad turned 78. i cried because i was so happy he has made it 4 more months, but on the other hand, i am so sad that he is in the condition he is in. he sometimes just is not all there. it is a life changing event and our family has adjusted as well as possible. i have the most wonderful husband in the world. he has stepped up and now cooks most of our meals, has been the mom and dad at the house, since i am often gone, and he still loves me unconditionally.

As many obstacles as life sends my way, I continue to pray and live my life day to day.

Blessed be.